[~Shelby~]

I think this is probably the first anything I've ever posted on here in the like year or two I've been here. I don't know if that's good or bad. Lately I've just been so awful and I feel like I'm going back to how I used to be in 8th grade. Depressed, suicidal, etc. I can't seem to want to get out of bed anymore, my grades are miserable, I don't ever want to move from my room, and everything is falling apart. I don't think my girlfriend is happy with me and honestly I don't know how to feel about that. I don't know what to do. I haven't felt so bad in a while and I can't really talk to anyone. The adults will send me back to the hospital and the only place my dad and insurance will allow me to go to is disgusting and didn't help one bit and it was pretty terrifying. I want to go to the hospital but I can't because of my insurance and it's just not going well. I don't even know if this is to seek help or to vent but thank you anyone who took the time to read it.