The fact that you and your partner both want to have sex with each other does not mean you have to rush into it or "do it soon." After a traumatic experience it is important to fully heal before moving forward physically with anyone. There is no pressure to have sex until you feel 100% ready to. If your partner is putting pressure on you, have a talk with him about how important it is for you to go at your own pace. If it's you putting pressure on yourself, it's important to give yourself permission to do things in your own time.

As for the dildo, the first few times the vagina is penetrated by something the size of the penis takes some getting used to, as the body hasn't used those muscles before. I would suggest doing some slow, deep breaths and going very slowly. If it hurts, stop, then try and continue after a few moments if you want to. Using lube will help this process be much easier, too.