I'm not entirely sure what category this belongs under but I'd rank it under depression, relationships, and
LGBT. I'm sorry if I'm in the wrong place.
I've been with my now ex-boyfriend for a year, and we were friends for much longer. During that time we have gotten as close as 2 people can get, and I, being a damaged and very closed person, had finally opened up to him as the only person in my life I could trust talking to.
We had our tiny problems like everyone does but for the most part our relationship was absolutely perfect. He was a fantastic guy, and I tried to be the best girlfriend in the world. I just can't wrap my mind around what has happened.
He recently confessed something to me. He told me that throughout our entire relationship he had been questioning his sexuality and had basically been using me to figure out if he was gay or not. He's now confirmed to me that he is, and we broke up.
I am a very unstable person at the moment because of how much I have going on in my life right now. This shocking blow put a bullet through my heart. I have been feeling so physically and emotionally ill that I have not been able to eat or sleep. The madness of it drove me to taking prescription drugs just so I could get a few hours of sleep at night.
He was all I had in my life; I have no family, very very few friends all of whom have lots or even more problems than I have, and they're rarely available to talk to.
I have already been under an unimaginable amount of stress and this dealt such a massive blow... I literally feel like my entire body, right down to my bones, is melting in ice. It's so nauseating and painful that I can't even function.
After everything he said to me, telling me how much he loved me, telling me he would do anything to make me happy, and more... I just can't handle this last straw on the camel's back.
He basically said to me that he was done loving me regardless of who I am and everything we'd been through just because I am a woman.
This is the second time this has happened to me; but the first time I was dating an openly bi male who left me for another guy.
I just don't know if I can go on anymore, because without him, I literally have nothing in my life. He was my source of inspiration, he was the thing that kept me going, to know I meant something to him and to be able to help each other. But now, he's just tossed me aside after everything we went through...
Please help...
- Stefani