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Originally Posted by Age of Ignorance
I've basically come here, to the wonderful community of militant atheists and oppressed theists (let's face it guys, atheists outnumber theists two to one in this neck of the woods, and you definitely don't back down - take that as a compliment), to ask a few questions.
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I don't find myself claiming to be a militant atheist, but I am a weak atheist and someone who seeks truth, even if that points me to god. However, I will respond as I do have some experience with Christianity.
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Originally Posted by Age of Ignorance
At the very least, and I'll ask this gingerly, do theist organisations prey on the vulnerable and young for membership and followers?
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The simple answer is: No. Not intentionally.
Christianity once had a really hard message prior to the 1950s. The message of Christianity was a call to deny your earthly pleasures, and follow Christ, which, is the message of the bible.
In the 1950s, we had just finished two World Wars. Christianity as a whole realized this, and so, they changed their message. I mean, the West suffered from the Great Depression, and many deaths. Why would they continue preaching that it's harder to get into Heaven than for a camel to pass through the eye of needle? So, as we have it, people like Billy Graham Jr. and other popular evangelists changed the message of Christianity. They started teaching the popular "God is love, he accepts everyone, if you have that hole in your heart, god can fill it." And theoretically, this is true. The IDEA of god is a powerful placebo and can fill that hole.
What I mean is this: People who are weak can find comfort in god. People who are hurting can find comfort that a divine being cares for them. People without a father can look to god, or without a loving mother, they have the love of god. It really depends how liberal of a group she is going to. The liberals tend to feed on this idea more than conservatives. Conservatives like John MacArthur, Paul Washer, and the like are progressively moving back to the original Christian message of the West.
Regardless, I don't think preachers today have this knowledge that I've shared with you. Many Pastors are actually really ignorant about the Bible when you talk with them. Yes, they study it, yes they know Greek, and the Historical Contexts of passages, but they are still ignorant about a lot of things. Including the psychological issues of the Christian movement in the 1950s. Others, sure, they do prey, but generally, this isn't the case. When I was a Christian we never targeted weak people. We targeted everyone.
The general message of the Bible is this: Grace to the humble, law to the proud (because the OT law is directed to make people humble). But, I mean, read Matthew 5. It talks about how the broken-spirited, etc. will inherit the Kingdom of god. So, Christianity, as a whole, is more accepting of those who have issues. But if you mean weak as in easy manipulated, I don't think it's intention. I just think the easily manipulated are easily manipulated.
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Originally Posted by Age of Ignorance
Also, what things should I expect to change in my relationship? Will there be a picture of Jesus on my bedside table that stares at me with the eyes of a smiling assassin as I sleep? Will I be forced to listen to "praise music"?
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Typically this depends on the individual. If it's a more liberal congregation, you probably won't have to deal with it. If it's a moderate or conservative, I would prepare yourself. She will probably ask you to listen or attend because she likes it and wants you to, too. One thing to keep in mind is, depending how serious your relationship is, she will talk about religious things with you because she loves you. You can't get mad. I have family who is REALLY religious. But, I don't tell them how I hate god, etc. I suck it up. Why? Because... they are telling me about god because they want me to be "saved" from Hell. They do it out of love. I put up with it. If you can't, then, I hate to say it, but good things she's not family. Move on.
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Originally Posted by Age of Ignorance
On a more personal note, how do I tell her not to impress her views on me, without making her feel like her views are being suppressed?
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I would simply tell her your glad she has found a place to express herself, and new friends, and a place where she is happy. But, I would be open with her and tell her you're not interested in sharing those experiences with her. OTOH, I would go to a few just to support her. A relationship, IMO, should be supportive, even when you clash or contradict. Love is about putting up with your differences and supporting them. Otherwise you're just settling for someone who is identical to you.
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Originally Posted by Age of Ignorance
Just generally, what do you think of this whole predicament I find myself in? I do consider myself to be a strong atheist, but I try to keep my opinion close to my chest. I fear, though, that this new spiritual journey my girlfriend is on will impact our relationship - I fear there will be a lot of head clashing because of this, despite my efforts to hold my tongue. I'm curious to hear what you think.
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It likely will. You may need to move on, or give it time. It might just be a phase. I think, overall, you should express yourself to her. Tell her how you feel. Don't hide them, because then you will just lash out eventually. Rather, talk NOW while you aren't pissed and clashing. Discuss things with her and keep an open mind. Don't shove your atheist opinions down her throat.
I know some of this may sound hypocritical coming from me, but I think here is where the difference lies. When I talk to people about religion, I am not trying to shove my opinions down peoples throats. I'm trying to get people to think, and I am trying to challenge myself. My atheistic views aren't anything if I don't challenge them, but another belief. While I don't think Christianity is probable, I still keep it open on a list of possibilities. Not because I'm playing it safe, but because being closed-minded is just blind faith. So, I suggest the same to you. Maybe question her about her beliefs, but don't do it militantly. Do it out of curiosity. Don't try to deconvert her, do it to strengthen her as a person. And don't think that you're right and she's wrong. Go to it as a learning opportunity, otherwise you'll become high-minded and she will ignore what you have to say.
In the end it depends on the two of you as a couple. Religion doesn't even have to be discussed. But if she becomes overly-zealous, it's unlikely that will be the case.