So recently I've been very concerned for my mental health. I wanted to know what some outside opinions would say on the matter, so I can maybe feel more sure with myself. Help would be much appreciated.

To start off I should say that I've had anxiety and depression issues pretty much... All my life. Mainly anxiety and strange fears. It's kind of embarrassing but if it helps, a list of my fears I've had are toilets, bathrooms(anything on this topic), weather, tornadoes, germs, cleaning dishes, and people. Most of these I have absolutely no clue why they scare me. I really do mean it when I say I am though. For example, when I go into a public bathroom I'll start shaking. If I have to flush a toilet, I'll start panicking. I have no idea what I'm afraid of though.

To continue I've been through some pretty big life struggles through the past year. Sadly I've had to experience rape, extreme betrayal, and other things which I'd rather not go into detail with. Recently these things have been catching up on me, I have been fearing everything. It's becoming to the point where I don't want to leave my house or get a job. I'm scared of seeing these people who've hurt me. I feel as though my life is always like walking on a tight rope. That fear that things could go wrong at any moment. I just can't stand it anymore. I end up having mini panic attacks a few times a day. Mainly during the night or after being confronted with a stressful situation or movie.

I also have terrible problems sleeping, I get maybe 3-5 hours a night because I can't manage to fall asleep until 8am every day. Even if I'm dead tired.
My nails are down to the nubs, my lips are just scar tissue, I've been making many scars on my body, I've been finding some relief in snapping elastics because I don't want to cut.

I just slowly feel like I'm going more and more insane. I don't want to stay here anymore but I don't have a choice. I've been through counselling but they did nothing for me. I've refused medication in the past but I'm strongly starting to consider it. Do you think it's best? Any opinion would be lovely.

Thank you all