[Kate*]

Even though we're not 15 anymore and I haven't seen you in 8 years I still want to be friends. Maybe I'd like a relationship with you, but I know you have a serious girlfriend and the last thing I want is to screw that up for you, she's a lucky girl. I'm not even sure if you like me in that way (even if you did admit to flirting with me, thanks for the mixed messages). I don't want it to be awkward. The way you treated me will be my standard for dating though, you treated me so well and I know that I deserve to be treated that way.

I realize that if I take it with him she will be there and I KNOW in my heart that I CAN'T stand her, but I've burned through all my other options because this one grades harder and I'm 99% sure that I'm going to end up having to give up on it AGAIN. I'm also telling you right now that if I take it again, this will be the LAST time I do it so either I pass next time or I'm dropping out and the dream is over.