- Don't push me on this. I said "No" for the time being, and that means "No." Don't ask me when can we revisit it again, or assure me that you know really what you're doing. I'm sure you do, but that isn't going to change my answer, and I'll let you know when I'm ready to. So kindly, step down, before I have to spell it out for you a little clearer. I like you; I don't want to have to show a side of me that isn't so "cute."

And yeah, part of it is the fact that it looks like I may start dating someone else. While I'm flattered at the interest, I'm not looking to start exploring two new relationships simultaneously. I wasn't even looking to start dating again, so this is new and cautious territory with one person, let alone two. Part of me is worried that, should he and I step out in public, you will be inwardly judgmental about it. You might assume I was just looking for someone to hook up with, and he got to me more quickly than you (which actually isn't true; I sought him out). But then I think, fuck that. What you think about it isn't my problem. Especially because it isn't true. Yeah, our goals align more, but I also have had a more solid connection with him. I wasn't sure about what you were asking of me even before I went on a date with him. So, if he and I do go public, I would hope you don't jump to conclusions about my declining you and the fact I am dating him. But if you do, that's your problem, not mine. I hope you wouldn't make it mine.

-We seem to click so well that it's a bit overwhelming, and if I seem hesitant, that is why. My emotions are telling me to jump in, but my brain is telling me to be cautious. I want things to be done "right," to work out, and while I've learned by now that in life and relationships the best things rarely go as planned, part of me still tries to control everything. So just know that I want to be happy and I want you to be happy, and if I seem to freak out a little or get anxious it's just because I want those two things to happen in the best way possible.