[house-of-usher]

I have been scratching my arm for about 2 months now. I have actually become addicted to it. I started scratching my arm because of bullying and past bullying that haunts me. These past events have lead me to believe that I am everything horrible that was said about me, so as a way to heal, or at least forget about some of the pain for a while, I started scratching myself. I truly do not think this is a form of self harm. Yes it can hurt a lot and I found a scab or two from bleeding that I did not know about until after, but I truly do not think what I am doing is bad. People have told me otherwise, but I find it hard to believe that I am self harming myself.
I have been scratching myself with a piece of broken plastic and I don't think it is that bad.
Sometimes I wonder if I have depression and if that is what truly led me to do this to myself. I have had thoughts or suicide many times before and I have come close to doing some of the things that I envision.
I truly need help because I do not know what to do anymore.
I hope that someone could please point me on the right path and tell me if what I am doing to myself is bad or not.