[house-of-usher]

Thank you for all of the things that you said about what i am going through. Part of my problem is that i am afraid to go to others about what i am going through. a few of my friends have figured out that i do and think this stuff and they have become furious. i truly have a hard time trusting others because of my past. i also don't have a solid relationship with my parents, especially my father. he makes a joke out of everything and he actually bullies me now and again. the relationship with my mother is okay, but she is a person the becomes beyond worried and angry about the simplest of things. i have talked to a councilor at my school, but i have a hard time trusting him with some of this information. he knows that i have had suicidal thoughts but he does not know about the scratching. i just do not know who to go to and who to trust anymore. i especially do not want to go to a doctor, because they would tell my parents everything. i truly don't know what to do.