I would say it's self harm. You're deliberately (as in, it's not an accident) hurting yourself. The fact that you're having a hard time stopping is also a red flag.
My cutting habits began with scratching, too. It might help you to try to go through a list of coping methods and finding out some that work for you and which are healthier alternatives to hurting yourself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by house-of-usher
Thank you for all of the things that you said about what i am going through. Part of my problem is that i am afraid to go to others about what i am going through. a few of my friends have figured out that i do and think this stuff and they have become furious. i truly have a hard time trusting others because of my past. i also don't have a solid relationship with my parents, especially my father. he makes a joke out of everything and he actually bullies me now and again. the relationship with my mother is okay, but she is a person the becomes beyond worried and angry about the simplest of things. i have talked to a councilor at my school, but i have a hard time trusting him with some of this information. he knows that i have had suicidal thoughts but he does not know about the scratching. i just do not know who to go to and who to trust anymore. i especially do not want to go to a doctor, because they would tell my parents everything. i truly don't know what to do.
|
I completely understand this problem. I'm going to give you some perspective on each of these options, though what you do is ultimately up to you.
You say you can't trust your parents. I completely understand since you say your father bullies you and that you fear, I assume, that your mother won't give you the peace and quiet you would need to sort it out. Have you considered other approaches of telling them? You could write them a letter, or sit them down and have a serious conversation (along with giving them some resources so they can learn about the subject). I understand if you don't feel comfortable, though, you don't have to tell them and you know your home situation better than I do.
Why are you afraid of telling your counsellor? Are you afraid he might report you to the administration or tell your parents? Check what the regulations and terms are, that can give you a hint. How did he react to knowing you were suicidal? If he reacted well and tried to be helpful, he may not react badly to self harm. It's more common than you think and someone who works in a field like counselling would on principle know something about it.
As to your doctor. Doctors are usually bound by a confidentiality clause. This means they cannot disclose anything to your parents or anyone else and that what you say to them is between the two of you only. The specifics of these clauses vary depending on your jurisdiction and sometimes the hospital you go. The most common exception is usually that they'll call the police in the case of crimes.
However, in your jurisdiction there may be a clause that includes the patient being a danger to themselves. This may be only if the patient is about to commit suicide, though
SH may be included.
The best way to check is to research it a bit. You can usually find a hospital's code of ethics, patients rights, and other such things on their website. If you call them or visit them in person they may also be able to give you the relevant information or give you informational pamphlets about their regulations. You don't have to give the specifics at this stage, just asking what their confidentiality rules are will suffice.
When you go in to see a doctor, you can also specifically ask if anything you say will be reported back to your parents. Usually, it won't be. In my experience, your parents will only hear about it IF you consent to.
Another option is seeing a therapist if you can, licensed ones are usually bound by confidentiality too (again, unless you're about to commit a crime or something). In my experience, therapists will ask you for permission if they think it would be helpful if they to talk to your parents.
You can also look into other options in your area. There may be support groups aimed at young people, for example. Do some research about that. It can be a cheaper and possibly less scary alternative.