[house-of-usher]

I completely understand what each of you are saying, but i do not know if any of that stuff would even be possible. I hinted to both of my parents once that i was depressed and they became furious. My father yelled at me and asked me over and over again why i felt that way. I did not have the guts to tell him or my mother.
I know that they love me and i know that they support me, but i really do not want to face their anger. My friends are mad at me because i harm myself and have thought taking my own life time and time again. i feel as though i can not talk to them about anything anymore. i understand that they are there to support me and care about me, but sometimes i wonder if i should even try anymore. i have tried time and time again to get better, but i keep returning to harming myself and thinking of killing myself, or at least horribly harming myself.
even through all of the stuff that each of you have said, i still do not feel like there is anyone i can turn to or trust. i am so scared that my friends that know about this stuff will go and tell my parents or even a councilor.
a few of them have even threatened to go to a councilor if things did not get better in their time. thank God they forgot, or else i don't know if i would be here today.
i truly think that i am a lost cause and there is no hope for me to get better.
please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. i truly need all of the strength and help that i can get.