[Ennui.]

Hey there,

I know that you may be scared to tell someone about this, but I think that's what you are going to need to do right now. Sometimes we have to do something scary to get the results we want, and while we definitely would love to help you and keep supporting you, if you are having suicidal thoughts to the point where you have been constantly thinking about it and daydreaming about it, and that you are scared you will do something, it's definitely time to talk to someone about this and get help.

You may not want people to feel obligated to worry and care, but I think they'd rather worry about you now than find out later on that you have done something such as suicide and they didn't know to help you.

One way that may make it easier on you to actually tell someone is through something like a letter or email. Basically, write down what you are going through right now such as the self harm and suicidal thoughts. You can even copy and paste parts of your post here if you think they will help you describe things. Then, either send the email, hand them the letter, or put it somewhere you are sure they will find it (when I wrote my mom a letter, I put it on the kitchen table so once she got home from her morning shift she'd see it). I know it is scary, but they WILL help you. But they have to know first! Some people besides your parents you can tell are guidance counselors, teachers, doctors, and school nurses. But at this stage of the game, it's important to tell.

I know it may be hard to tell someone about this, but in the end, you shouldn't be going through this alone and you do need a support system around you. We can definitely be a part of that system, but you need people in your life as well.

-Dez