[0akly]

I have quite a story here so I thought I'l share it..

I've self harmed since I was 12 and my parents found out when I was 15. I had gone to get my prom dress for our end of exams prom (I actually organised it...another story another time, but I wasn't even going to go). Anyway, my mum said she wanted to see it and I really wasn't sure about doing it but I came downstairs in my dress that was halter neck (so no sleeves) I was planning on getting some bracelets or gloves for the day to cover my cuts but when I came downstairs I was wearing my wool gloves that didn't go with the dress.

My whole family (Mum, Dad, Sister and Brother) were watching tv so I came into the room and showed them my dress. Mum loved it but then got confused and said I wouldn't be wearing the gloves to the prom and told me to take them off. I told her no. This went on for ages - it got really heated and I was crying saying I couldn't and my Dad started shouting and my siblings were just watching.

Finally it clicked for my mum and she just said "No." and we went out into the hallway she told me to take them off and started screaming. This went on for ages.

We ended up in my room and I told her that I had cut myself and she was so angry and screaming. She refused to believe it - she knew my friends did and never thought I could, she thought I was a happy child but I was really struggling and was just putting a brave face on.

I started to have a panic attack and she kept telling me to show her. I had fresh cuts on my arms but scars on my legs. So I lifted up the skirt of my dress and showed her. Everything is a bit of a blur from then but I can remember throwing off my gloves too at a point.

I had already started talking to a counselor with school because I hated how I was feeling so I was trying to fix it and I let my mum know - it calmed her down a bit but she was still distraught.

It was a really tough time for me.

Two years later and I'm 17 - I'm actually worse than I was before but my mum has been helping so much. She understands now and has said sorry for how she acted, she was just shocked. It means so much to me how supportive she is and I forgive her for how she reacted.

When someone loves you they can get so upset to know you're hurting so much. I think the best way for you to deal with parents is not to hide it - to let them know you're in a rough space so that if they ever see anything it isn't too much of a shock.

I hope everything gets better for you and you're in my thoughts