[bitesize]

What I wanted to write here while TeenHelp was down...

(- On Thursday morning, I faked it a little bit. Well, over-exaggerated really. I wouldn't fake it. But you seemed so thrilled.)
^^But you know, the next three times were very different.

(When I told you I liked you after sex, it was just the hormones.)
^^But I do.

I'm sorry that I let this get so far, because I now that you have very strong feelings for me and I could tell it hurt you when I said I didn't want to continue this in September. I LOVE having sex with you. I can't say that I've never had anything like this before, because obviously we're not in love, but it is SO great and better than I expected and we have such an amazing connection. But I wouldn't be able to handle doing what we're doing now when I'm back in September and there's no deadline, no me leaving the country to define our relationship. It scares me a little just how into me you are - I know I haven't been doing much not to lead you on, but I can tell it's quite serious for you and that's not what I need right now. And it's been so stressful trying to hide this from my friends. Well. 'Friends' being that immature group I can't shake who don't stop to think how damaging it can be to spread rumours about other people's personal lives. I think cutting our losses altogether is the best choice for September, no matter how much we might both miss this amazing sex...