[It is 57 below zero]

I recently became a member of kik messenger, which is an alternative way to text people.

But anyway, I have tried finding many friends on it, elsewhere, where people list their usernames, and who are looking for friends on it, and it seems that many of the people there don't seem to accept me or like me either.

Most people on there have made me feel bad about myself by insulting me or saying bad things about me, and making complaints about my age, race, and gender and not wanting to talk to me because of it, even if they are looking for friends to talk to on the application.

Also, people have cursed me out, abandoned me, or even blocked me and I didn't even do anything at all to deserve it, and if a person leaves me or blocks me on it, I feel like I don't have anyone to go to about it to get things sorted out.

Like there was one person that blocked me only because I changed my display name on it (and it wasn't even bad or offensive at all, my display name just mentioned something about feeling alone and depressed), and many others that ignore me within a few weeks.

And there was also a person on there that said that she would be there for me, like in the beginning of May, and said she liked me more than a friend, and things like that, but again, within 2-3 weeks, she left me and ignored me despite reading my texts...and she promised she basically loved me and it breaks my heart that someone would break a promise like that if I hadn't even said anything bad.

This, again, has caused me to self harm like this week, because it seems like almost no one likes me or will accept me so I feel like I am just a terrible person. I ended up crying a lot this weekend, and one of my teachers passed away last week also which made me twice as depressed. I am still being bullied online for 6+ months and I wish I could do whatever I could to become acceptable by society.

The teacher I was talking about was actually one of few that I felt somewhat comfortable talking to about certain things, and now I have no one to talk to about this either...and not only do I find the behavior in a lot of the students at my school to be atrocious but many of them don't even like me or accept me so I literally have no one, and a kid at my school makes jokes about my self harm and he won't stop despite me telling him to stop, and nearly cursing him out.

I am hurting right now...and I don't know what to do. Because it seems like when I make one petty minor mistake, I get blocked from a friend, for the rest of my life, or someone gets seriously ticked off about it. and it seems like my age and gender and stuff seems to be an issue with so many people and that hurts me seriously bad. I feel like I am a bad person.