[Eternal Dreamer ♥]

I'm sorry things are going so rough for you right now.
Honestly, nothing is going to get any better if you don't let it, or if you don't talk about it. You need to tell your parents how you are feeling, and if you don't want them to make a big deal about your birthday, tell them.

I am sure they will understand, and if you just let it go, and not tell anyone that you don't want anything big for your birthday then they aren't going to know.

I know losing someone you know is hard, I just lost my bestfriend in the world two days ago, and its not easy, but it will start to get easier, not tomorrow, not the next day, but it will.

Talk to someone, it will help. specially sense you don't know how to handle your worry and grief.