Thread: Triggering: School ISSUE
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Name: Auburn
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: USA

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School ISSUE - September 9th 2014, 03:11 AM
This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

3 days into senior year and I'm already over-whelmed...

I am struggling with anxiety, major depression, an eating disorder, and my psychologist believes bipolar too.

Anyways, during the day I go through mood swings. I'll go from "base line" where I'm not great but I'm not terrible but then my mood will just sky rocket. I'll be very hyper, happy, mind is racing. I'll make all these crazy plans on what i'm going to do after school and for my future. Which is a problem when you need to stay focused in class. I'll get agitated with people because I'm so hyper I feel I have a lot to say and if others are talking I feel I won't be able to get what I want to say in.

But then, my mood will just switch... to very depressed. I honestly will just slouch down behind my desk and just hate life. I want nothing to do with anyone, I want to be left alone in a room by myself. Any sound that is not from the teacher annoys the living crap out of me. Life becomes what appears to be nothing and I wish I did not have to go through another day. I'll tune everything and everyone out for the most part because I'm in a state in which everything on the planet is useless and I hate everything including myself.

And then my anxiety also plays this whole mind trick on me... I will start to work on my homework but panic because I don't know where I need to start, or what to do. I'll read something wrong, then believe I did the whole assignment wrong and feel the need to redo it. Or if I mess up on something then I have to redo it because I can't stand when something is not correct...

I am not sure what to do because the school can't do much for me because I need to pass... I don't want to bug my guidance counselor anymore. (I had to get my schedule changes, then my mom had to call and get me out of swimming in gym due to SH)

Can anyone give me some advise?

I don't wish to be dealing with any of this! I WANT IT TO BE GONE! I WANT TO BE NORMAL. At this point, if I were to try to explain my thought process and mood swings someone will think i'm crazy... I'm not though, I promise....