Thread: Non-PG13 (Strong Language): My depression and anxiety is costing me :(
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My depression and anxiety is costing me :( - September 27th 2014, 07:45 PM

Hello. I know I said I had left and wouldn't be coming back anytime soon, but things aren't getting better, they are getting worse. I have a hard time talking to people because I feel they don't like me or they will judge me. I ignore the people I am living with because I am afraid of what they may say to me. My fathers girlfriend doesn't make this any better. I can feel the tension whenever she is around. She gets loud, she screams, she swears, she comes onto my father about stuff, etc. I know she is going through a lot with her health, but is there really a need for all this?

My father wants me to go back to my mothers. The very reason why I joined TH is to get away from her and now my father wants to me go back because I am pissing off her girlfriend, even though almost EVERYTHING pisses her off. The line has been drawn with my father. I know he doesn't want to lose his girlfriend, but he is quickly losing his son. I need help, I want to see a phych, but he shoots it down because it is "too expensive".

For fuck sake! I helped him pay off some of his debt and paid $7100 for his fucking girlfriends car! I did this in June and I was expecting $8100 in return in July, but no. He change the original agreement. When I confronted him about it, he said he'll pay me back in installments, and if I don't like it, then get out. Now He does have the means to pay me back, however, I am sick and tired of all these changes that leave me with the short end of the stick, as well as the threats that come with it. I'm just waiting for some of the coins that I bought, to magically become his girlfriends coins, because it is his girlfriend, and if she wants them, then she gets them.

Maybe I'm in the wrong, idk. But I don't feel I'm being treated properly. I never thought my father would do this. If I can't trust my father, who I've trusted my whole life, then who can I trust? This is one of the reason why I have so much hatred bottled up inside me. People abused me, but when I have something of value, they use me, and when that value is gone, they go right back to abusing me. He knows how bad it is over at my mothers, but he wont lose his girlfriend, no matter what.

I will admit, I have a bad attitude, I really do. However, I get it from my parents. I like being online because I am able to express myself. There more to it, but I've typed enough for one post. I am sorry for making this so long and I'm sorry if it turned into a rant