Thread: Non-PG13 (Strong Language): My depression and anxiety is costing me :(
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Anon2384 Offline
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Re: My depression and anxiety is costing me :( - September 27th 2014, 11:23 PM

Originally Posted by Ryan90 View Post
Hello. I know I said I had left and wouldn't be coming back anytime soon, but things aren't getting better, they are getting worse. I have a hard time talking to people because I feel they don't like me or they will judge me. I ignore the people I am living with because I am afraid of what they may say to me. My fathers girlfriend doesn't make this any better. I can feel the tension whenever she is around. She gets loud, she screams, she swears, she comes onto my father about stuff, etc. I know she is going through a lot with her health, but is there really a need for all this?

My father wants me to go back to my mothers. The very reason why I joined TH is to get away from her and now my father wants to me go back because I am pissing off her girlfriend, even though almost EVERYTHING pisses her off. The line has been drawn with my father. I know he doesn't want to lose his girlfriend, but he is quickly losing his son. I need help, I want to see a phych, but he shoots it down because it is "too expensive".

For fuck sake! I helped him pay off some of his debt and paid $7100 for his fucking girlfriends car! I did this in June and I was expecting $8100 in return in July, but no. He change the original agreement. When I confronted him about it, he said he'll pay me back in installments, and if I don't like it, then get out. Now He does have the means to pay me back, however, I am sick and tired of all these changes that leave me with the short end of the stick, as well as the threats that come with it. I'm just waiting for some of the coins that I bought, to magically become his girlfriends coins, because it is his girlfriend, and if she wants them, then she gets them.

Maybe I'm in the wrong, idk. But I don't feel I'm being treated properly. I never thought my father would do this. If I can't trust my father, who I've trusted my whole life, then who can I trust? This is one of the reason why I have so much hatred bottled up inside me. People abused me, but when I have something of value, they use me, and when that value is gone, they go right back to abusing me. He knows how bad it is over at my mothers, but he wont lose his girlfriend, no matter what.

I will admit, I have a bad attitude, I really do. However, I get it from my parents. I like being online because I am able to express myself. There more to it, but I've typed enough for one post. I am sorry for making this so long and I'm sorry if it turned into a rant
Hey dude i'm new here so this may be me talking complete crap but here goes :P
first of all, dont let what other people may/may not think about you stop you from being who you are, and dont let them make you feel bad, if you have an issue with them (eg your dads girlfriend) say something, if you say to your dad, tell him how you feel about the whole situation with his girlfriend then he may surprise you and listen

and about the psych treatment stuff (i presume thats what you meant :P) if you cant afford it then i am sure there will be a local drop in session/support group type thing somewhere in your area or in a local city, if that is a suitable substitute

if he is constantly giving you the short end of the stick even though you have been helping him then stop helping him, it may make you feel a lot better if you start doing things for yourself if you feel like you have to get away from him and do not want to go to your mothers is there any other family you could stay with, older sibling, aunt/uncle/grandparents

and as a final note - what is the internet if you cant express your feelings on it hope this helps and either way i wish you the best of luck with this situation you are in