[Nixas]

You left. how am I supposed to look men in the eye? you left. abandoned me. why me? why did she keep me when you cant? Cant I just let it go?

Why is my heart so tight. So guarded... You left... he replaced you... and he was a convincing liar. he planted this realization inside me... he made me hate every sound I made. he made me hate my reflection, my flesh...

He destroyed her. until she realized and left. She left the one who told me the truth. She made me a lonely child. I am alone. always alone.

Im choking... why did you leave? I don't want you back... don't try to fix this.. just stay gone.. Now youre... "replaced.."

He says he is more of a father than what you ever could be. I hate him. My father image is ruined. it always will be. I want to hate... and let the rage that has boiled over the years explode. Why me?

Now here I sit.. My only friend the blade that I keep in my movie case... I want to cut deeper... but I cant be that selfish... I cant make my mother pay for my funeral or a trip to the hospital... why me?

I cant say anything... I laugh and smile and pretend... I need this release... I have nothing else... I need to see the few small dot of blood I manage to get to feel okay.

Why me? Why is it me that every one tells their problems to..? I always listen.. no one listens.. no one wants to hear..

My heart will continue to stay full of pain.

Im tired of this spiral downward..

Why me?