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Name: Nicole
Age: 25
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Location: PDX

Posts: 12,424
Join Date: October 14th 2010

Re: Tension with the boyfriend - November 3rd 2014, 11:59 PM

Communicate. That's the only way you two can solve this problem. What have you two been arguing about? Is it random things or are they following a pattern?
When you're stressed it can be difficult not to lash out at loved ones, but remember you are both there to support each other. If you feel yourself getting angry, remove yourself from the situation and leave the room so you both can cool off. Once you've calmed down, whatever you were fighting about won't matter anymore, no matter how important it may have seemed at the time.
Fighting is also a normal part of a relationship, but it definitely isn't healthy if it's constant. Perhaps you two could try spending less time together until your stress levels are lower? Another option is to find a way to reduce the stress. Take a hot bath in the evening, drink lots of tea, and read a book. When you're less stressed your relationship will improve.
I definitely think you need to talk to him about this though and let him know your concerns. Remind him that even if you two aren't getting along, you still love him. In order for a relationship to work out you typically want at least 5 positive interactions for every negative one. This means you need to make sure to also say kind things to your boyfriend since you two are fighting so much. It may also help reduce how much you fight if you two keep reminding each other of how much you love each other.


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