Hi There,
Firstly, I am extremely sorry you are going through this. I will do my best to help but have no personal experience with this so I hope I am not offensive or minimizing any of your experience by saying what I am about to say.
Postnatal depression is no that uncommon. I am not sure of the exact statistics of postnatal depression however it is not something rare, untreatable or unheard of. Try remindg yourself that you are not alone in this struggle. Your doctor and the midwife that helped deliver your baby have probably helped many women through the driving process after losing a child through labor. Also, there are mental health professionals that could assist in helping you with your depression.
It may help you to find support groups in your area for women that have lost a baby through miscarriage or that are experiencing postnatal depression. Connecting with those that can relate to you and share how they cope and get through each day would probably be very useful.
Remember, you are still young and you have plenty more years to have a child if you choose to try again. This did not happen do to any fault of yours. It is extremely tragic however, with the appropriate resources the tragedy can be easier to cope with.
Another thought I have is what you mentioned about fearing that you will not be able to be considered a good mother because of this. There are quite a few women that have had depression after giving birth or going through labor and losing their child. I believe that if you did not react how you have that would be a problem. You lost a child that you were carrying, connected to emotionally, physically and that you were probably hoping and planning for. For you to not be depressed and griving would be odd. This does not reflect your character in any way. It also does not affect your ability to parent. You can pick up the pieces and get through this depression, it may take some time but relying on your family and other supports will help significantly.
You do not have to go through this alone.
We are here for you and so are the people in your life that care about you.
I hope this is helpful in someway.
If you would like to talk, you can send me a
PM and I will be glad to listen and support you in some way if I am able to.
Take care.