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Fuck recovery and three months purge free -
December 20th 2014, 12:22 AM
I said yes to greasy pizza tonight and I say fuck to my recovery I'm probably going to purge tonight. I tried on close today that would have fit a month ago and now they don't. I'm fucking gaining weight it's so gross and it needs to stop. After Christmas I plan on restricting again. I just want to take a razor and cut all of this nasty gross fat off of my body. I can'live being this heavy. The only reason I know my weight is because in the ER they weighed me and I had all my close on and boots so that weight was wrong. Then they weighed me at the mental hospital and that weight was lower but still really high. I'm so sick of being the fat one. Clothes don't fit. I want to be back in junior sizes. I plan to be by summer. I'm so fucking hungry I'm going to eat so fucking much and ugh. I'm probably going to end up to want to cut after I purge. I'm so sick and tired of fighting this. I'M DONE FIGHTING IT. i'M GOING TO GIVE UP MY ED RECOVERY.
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