[Ennui.]

Hey,

While we can't diagnose you with a mental illness here, I will try and give you some tips.

First of all, is there anyone else you may be able to talk to about this? For instance, if you have a physical coming up any time soon a good person to bring this up to with would be your doctor because they are a professional who can diagnose you or at least tell you what to do. The second person I am going to suggest to you is a school guidance counselor or a school nurse. They won't yell at you or judge you, and they got into their job because they really like helping people. They will probably be able to give you ways to cope with these thoughts.

My therapist told me a lot about trying to rationalize these thoughts a bit in our heads. For instance, replace negative thoughts with positive ones. "They're probably just joking about something else," or "They don't know me very well, they can't dislike me yet," or "I have -list good qualities-, and people definitely will love me for these qualities."

You can also remind yourself that if you haven't done anything wrong to them, it's likely that they don't actually hate you. If they're kind to you any time they see you, they probably do genuinely want to be friendly with you!

I know that for me I sort of had to force myself into a positive environment to get out of my comfort zone and meet people a little bit. Does your school have any clubs? They may give you a bit of a confidence boost because you will at least know that some of the people in these clubs have the same interests as you, and that can be a good conversation starter.

I'm sure someone will come along and give you more tips, but I hope these help some!

-Dez