[Philomath]

Hi,

I am glad you are finally getting help. I know from my own experience that getting help is a difficult thing to do.
I understand your views on taking a pill and not wanting to rely on them to make you normal but they exist to help people with issues and there is no one saying you would have to take the pill forever. The pill could be taken for a pro-longed period of time (probably a year or so) and then (with the doctor's permission) you could start lessening the doseage and then eventually be without it.
The meds are to help with balancing chemicals in your brain.
If you are strongly against taking pills, you could look into removing certain foods from your diet. Do research about what foods can cause anxiety to be more severe and then try to (with the help fo the counselor possibly) create a food plan where you do not eat those foods and see if that helps some.
Anxiety is very treatable and you deserve the help.
Everyone deserves to feel as normal as possible.
Hopefully this helps.
Take care.