[Kindred]

Hey!

There's a theory known as "set point" theory, and it's the idea that your body has a natural weight it's happiest at. When you're eating to your hunger cues this is around the weight you'll stay. If you diet, you'll lose weight but you'll gain it back when you go back to your previous lifestyle. The only way to change your set point is a permanent life style change.

Is your body happy at this weight? Do you have periods, feel full of energy, are you healthy? If you feel good, are eating well you're probably at your set point, especially since you've been eating healthily and exercising. The fact you're in recovery (I defined myself as "in recovery" for around 2 years after weight restoration) also suggests it's a bad idea to step into that way of life: giving any thought to dieting or body image whatsoever. There are differing opinions on this but mine stands that you shouldn't attempt weight loss until you're completely and utterly recovered, when the thought of missing a meal just sounds completely unappealing and when you're happy to eat snacks after exercising to regain energy. Because body acceptance is a part of recovery. This is your body. It fights everyday to keep you alive. You've done brilliantly to get where you are now, but I really wouldn't suggest trying to lose weight. You're strong, you've proven that, you've fought a very difficult battle. Just like it's unwise for alcoholics to test themselves with "just a bit" of alcohol it's really inadvisable to step back into the weight loss.

I'd say instead you should concentrate on accepting your body. It's more important to be healthy so you can be caring, compassionate and have a positive influence on others around you and enjoy life rather than concentrating on your appearance. I understand the temptation, I really do, I was at a similar stage as you and thought "well...I could get toned....?"...but the temptation to "well not eating this snack isn't exactly gonna hurt is it?" was there. This could be your ED manifesting as something else, so fight it.

In sort: my answer is not yet. I wouldn't risk it, but obviously it's your call. Focus on life and being happy and kind and sweet. Weight loss can come after, don't let that obsession eat any more into your teenage years (pun intended )

Laura xxx