WARNING: Triggering post (ED)

Today I realized that I am terrified of eating food. I get anxious every time I sit down to eat anything that isn't a salad. If I eat more than a salad, I try to throw it up, and if I can't throw it up I have an anxiety attack. Then I overcompensate by restricting what I eat for two days, until I break down and have a real meal, and then it starts all over again. I know I need help, but I can't bring myself to ask for it, especially not after she fought through anorexia last year. No one will believe me. So I live with this terrible secret. And no one's going to know, that's the worst part. I'll look like a healthy weight, maybe even a little overweight, and no one will think twice about the cost it's coming at.

I'm so sorry. I know I'm letting you down. But I can't control this. And I hate myself for it.