[Kate*]

It ruined my life. The fact that you had no choice and feel horrible about it doesn't change that. Even worse, sooner or later you'll forget I ever existed. My guess is you already have. You said that you wanted me to be successful even if it wasn't with you. That implies that you believe I can be successful. That's where you're wrong. The reason I lost this goes a lot deeper and is more impairing than you realize. I know this having lived 27 years with it, you never will. It means that I won't succeed at anything EVER so I'm done trying. I don't see the point of torturing myself if it's going to end that way anyway. I'm not quitting or giving up though, I'm just accepting fate and I'm done. As amazing as you are and were to me, I know you only said that because you say it to everybody you throw out. That combined with the other stuff you're dealing with means that I won't be contacting you again. I've been screwed before when someone else who offered help told me he didn't mean it after I spilled my guts to him. As much as I want to, and normally would, I can't trust you; I just can't risk it.

I feel better so it probably won't last. (1 hour) I can do the counseling skills the way you wanted them and I can be tough love harsh on people. Neither of them feels like me. I need to find something that lets me be myself and feels real at the same time. If you were serious about helping me, you have that and my disorder to tend with. I'd love to give someone else a crack at this because it's driving me INSANE

So far failure is the only thing I've never been wrong about.

I'd like to hear you admit just once to my face that you screwed me. The fact that I can't disagree with you, you feel horrible about it, and you had no choice won't change that, give me the years of my life back that I wasted, or pay off the debt I racked up for no reason.