[Kate*]

Your experience sounds a lot like mine (and I promise I'm not bringing it up AGAIN as an excuse to rant about my own stuff) it's relevant.

This person sounds exactly like my supervisor who, I'm convinced is a major (though not the entire) reason that I was forced out of the counseling profession. She started off in a way that made me think I would like her, but ended up a nightmare. She sent my anxiety through the roof, treated me like complete garbage, and bottomed out my self-esteem and self worth, before solidifying the faculty's decision that ultimately ruined my life. I tried to make it work just like you did and ultimately lost everything anyway, but here's what I learned from the whole mess:

You're not going to like every boss you get, and complaining to the person above them will generally make you look bad before it will get them any consequences (I tried that too, the other person denied it and I couldn't get proof)

Complain about them as much as you want, it won't make things any easier on you and it won't change them and be careful where you do it, they might be on to you. In my case I was telling my friends and apparently the staff at the counseling center was also spying on me and may have been telling my supervisor and/or the director things which only came back to bite me

You have to work your way up. You'll have to pay your dues in any profession, so even when you might be right, or have a good idea, they probably won't listen to you. It doesn't make them stupid, in their mind, you haven't earned your place yet to suggest how they do their job and they don't have to listen to you(I learned this one the hard way too). Let them be the experts; when you have the experience you can do things your own way, but if you ruin your reputation and contacts in the profession because you let your anger and frustration get the best of you, they have the ability to ruin you, and they will.

Even legitimate excuses aren't good ones. If you have anxiety, get help for it. They really don't care what you're dealing with or your reasons for not being able to do something and realistically, you can be easily replaced so unless they're required by law to accommodate you, they don't have to accept your explanations and they won't.

If you're forced to work with other people, put your head down and do what needs to be done. Would it be easier if they were more cooperative and communicated better, absolutely, but it probably won't happen and in the end you're quitting anyway. Do what's being asked of you and worry less about everybody else.

As for how to get through the conversation: Know what she'll try to do to you and don't fall for it or let her get to you, remember this is one of, if not the last time you'll have to do it. Considering how this is going, you don't have to ask her for a reference. Don't burn her as a contact though. It couldn't hurt to ask, the worst she's going to tell you is no. So stay calm and do the work that needs to get done until you quit.

I know this was harsh, but the world is an unfeeling, cruel place sometimes. I'd rather you learn that from me, before you lose everything like I did because you don't want to believe that.