[Kate*]

I gave myself a year and said if it wasn't better by then, I'd give up. It's been 10 months and it's a million times worse than I thought. So, I'll meet with her as scheduled and that will probably be it. Medication isn't an option and even if it was, it wouldn't help. It's going to get worse not better, there's nothing to do for it, and it has already destroyed my life, my self-esteem, my self-worth, all my dreams, my ability to survive in society, and any hope I have for a life worth fighting for. I'm done.

The more I think about this, the less ready I think I am, I might really have to do it now and not because I want to, but because it's the only option I really have.