TeenHelp - View Single Post - Triggering (Suicide): Depression and Emptiness

Edit avatar · **Re: Depression and Emptiness -** September 2nd 2015, 07:45 PM

Hey there and welcome to TeenHelp!

Sounds like you have dealt with a lot already and you're only 14 years old. I'm really sorry to hear all you've been through and are currently going through but I hope that writing this out here has helped somehow.

Considering the way you've been treated, I can see how it would result in not having confidence in yourself and having low self esteem. But I want to encourage you to keep working toward your dreams of becoming a scientist/physicist. Regardless of what anyone says or how they treat you or even your own negative perspective of yourself stemming from the way you have been treated, it doesn't define your potential. Don't let that get the best of you, okay? I know that is easier said than done but you've wanted this for a long time so don't let anyone hold you back from achieving your dreams. You can do it, just don't give up on it. Maybe it would help to set small goals for yourself and take small steps. Along with that, you could also make a list of your strengths both physically and personality-wise to boost your confidence a little?

You seem to have been through a lot and your parents going through a divorce cannot be easy for you. I'm really sorry that is happening right now. Do you have anyone to talk to, such as a trusted teacher, school counselor or another trusted adult like a family member or close family friend? Having someone to talk to could be really helpful in helping you work through things. Speaking of, have you ever been to therapy and if not, would you consider it/is it possible to help you cope with everything going on right now? On the note of coping, do you have anything to turn to in your life that makes you happy when things get to be too much? Such as a healthy emotional outlet or a hobby for example. Journaling can be a great and therapeutic way to express yourself. You could even start a blog here on TeenHelp if you'd like! Don't be afraid to let yourself be immersed in hobbies that you enjoy to have a little break from all the stresses.

Have you expressed to your parents your feelings to them? Some parents can be making their child feel a certain way by not doing certain things without realizing it. When things are a little more calm, perhaps you could sit down with both of your parents and explain that you don't feel very close or loved by them but that you'd really like to change that? What might really help and brighten things up is to spend time with each your mom and dad and do different bonding hobbies. Whether it be crafts, video games, board games or even something like sports, camping or cycling. Those are just examples. I'm not sure if you have done things like this or not, but I hope you can find ways to improve the relationship between you and your parents. That could be really great for you.

Congratulations on winning that award in 8th grade and also being on the honor roll. Although, I'm sorry to hear about what happened afterwards and how your girlfriend began treating you. Along with the bullying you experienced before that. Do you still experience bullying at school? I hope not, I hope it has improved for you but if not, can you go to a trusted teacher or the school principal? You shouldn't have to deal with being bullied. You deserve better. Is there anyone at your school or in your neighborhood your age that seems friendly? Maybe it might be good to introduce yourself to new people and sort of branch out. Hopefully you will end up finding true, loyal friends that treat you well.

You've been treated quite badly by some of your friends and your girlfriend and I can also imagine how your parents treat you would make you feel alone and unloved. However, you're a really strong person for holding on and continuing to fight through all of this. I'm glad your suicide attempt last year did not work because you have a purpose, you have potential. I imagine you have a kind heart and a lot of great qualities that your parents are not fully appreciating, along with many others in your life. So no matter how anyone treats you or how hard things get, always remember that how you are treated does not define your worth or who you are. You shape who you are, so stay kind, caring and chase after your dreams, alright? I am not sure of your beliefs but mine are that God doesn't let hardships be for nothing; they help us learn how to cope, how to forgive and how to appreciate all the happy moments when they do happen. And most importantly, they teach us compassion and remind us how strong we can be. You can get through this, just keep holding on and don't give up.