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Re: I really wish I can help my friend with her depression... -
November 4th 2015, 09:13 PM
Hi there!
Jessie's right - you're an amazingly caring and good friend. She's lucky to have you as a friend.
I am sorry your friend is going through such a tough time. It can be heartbreaking to see someone you care about struggle but not be able to accept help for the issue. Unfortunately, too many who deal with depression feel like being helped is impossible. Or they begin to feel comfort in depression. Sometimes a person can become used to depression and it becomes a comfort zone in a way, and recovery requires them to get out of their comfort zone so it can be difficult.
Could it be beneficial to ask her questions about her depression? Maybe you could ask her if you could do anything to help. Asking her questions about her depression could help you understand better and maybe even come up with ways to help her. Depression can affect each individual in different, unique ways. You can ask what sort of things worsen her depression and ask what helps her feel better.
Secondly, has she done research on depression? While it doesn't cure depression nor does it replace seeking professional help, taking steps in taking care of her body in physical ways may boost her mood and energy. For example, a vitamin deficiency can contribute to low moods. Moderate exercise, a good sleep pattern and a healthy diet could help. I know that life issues seem to be a big cause if not the main cause of her depression, but taking care of herself in other ways can help.
Encourage her to do what relieves stress and cheers her up. Such as a hobby or distraction she enjoys a lot. Along with creative ways to express her feelings like art or creative writing. Maybe you could suggest relaxing, therapeutic distractions to her? Many people find coloring to be a big source of stress relief and maybe that could help her since she deals with a lot of conflict at home.
To surprise and cheer her up while being more personal, you could send her letters in the mail hand-written yourself with inspirational messages. You could send her motivational texts as it's been mentioned too! Making and/or giving her a friendship bracelet or a necklace could be a nice thing to do as well. This way she could wear it and be reminded someone cares and wants the best for her.
You seem to be frustrated because you see your friend in pain and all you want is to be able to help her to not feel this low. The thing is, you are probably helping immensely by simply listening. You're someone she can pour her heart out to that will listen and respond with care and concern rather than respond negatively. I am sure that means a great deal to her and that she appreciates that a lot. Remember that she has to take steps in being able to help herself before she can take advice/support and truly embrace it. However, having such a caring and supportive friend like you probably helps her in ways you don't see. Just continue sharing words of hope and inspiration and encouraging her to seek help because she deserves it.
It is admirable to see how much you care about her so keep it up, you're being a wonderful friend. Don't forget to take care of yourself too though. I know you want to help her but it's important that you take care of yourself too. Don't be afraid to reach out here for support/advice throughout this or other issues you may be struggling with. On that note, you can message me anytime if you need someone to listen.
Take care and stay strong. I hope your friend feels better soon. 
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