[iambatman]

I am going to write this in white so....

Why don't you care about me? Why do you always push me away? I wish I could talk to you...But I cant because you don't even care what I have to say. You never cared. I don't care anymore. I just want to give up right now... And you don't even care...What are you going to do when I end up dead? You just want things to go your way...You never let me speak. My safety doesn't even matter to you...Why? You told me things were going to change when I got out of the hospital. Nothing ever changed. I went back to the hospital, thing were going to change. A week later, I was back in the ER, having attempted suicide, and thing were going to change. I stayed a week and you promised I would never end up like this again...Literally 10 hours later I was back in the ER with yet again another suicide attempt. All because of you, your husband, and you son. Your son, who is my brother, pushes me to the point where I want to kill myself. You husband calls me a bitch, a fuck off, and a slut. You don't even care. My doctors wanted to call children services on you because of this. I ended up living at my grandmothers for 6 weeks. Granted they were the best 6 weeks of my life. You took me away way from the only place I ever felt safe because your sister and I got into a small argument. Seriously? You put into a place where I have NEVER felt safe. And you don't care. You and your husband are not together right now. I wonder how long that is going to last. Last time it was for about 4 months. You always say you two are getting a divorce. What is this? The 5th time? Everyday I wake up and wonder what you are going to make me do...I heard you on the phone today...You said you put in applications in Akron...Wow...I don't even know what to say. You are a compulsive liar. Every time you talk to him I just want to scream. You lie all the time. You lie to me, you lie to your husband, and you lie to your son...And you don't want us to lie, but you lying is perfectly acceptable...Cool...I might as well start cutting again. Or I might even tell my therapist about you lying. And I will tell my grandmother. And your sister. Because they are the only support I am getting right now. You must be having fun, making me feel like this...I bet you are....I have lasted 6 months out of the hospital...But for what? To get lied to? To be hated? Earlier this year, I couldn't stay out of the hospital for a week without trying to kill myself...Look how far I have made it. But my accomplishments mean nothing. The only thing that matters is your husband and your son...You don't even want me anymore...You are not even a mom anymore...You will never understand my pain. You may claim you do, but you don't....Fuck you! I hate you so much! I hope I die.... but obviously you don't care.......