[xcloudymindx]

As all of the above have already flagged out, this relationship is an abusive one, and extremely unhealthy for you.

The thing is - when your in this situation, you kind of become immune to it, like you know its happening, you feel it happening, but you block it out with the 'affection' he's used against you; to keep him right where he wants you 'needy' and 'un-capable' of leaving him. You feel like you can't leave, either under threat, or you just cant be without him. 8 months is a long time. Especially if he's your first 'love' - You kinda don't wanna let all that time slip, and you try to hope "If I hang on a little longer - maybe he will realize and improve" those thoughts, that keep you dragging along with his schemes. But you are worthy of more than he is putting you through. No women deserves any abuse/nor male) even if its not physical, mental abuse can damage you just as much, its a very painful thing to go through, get through, and get out of.

All those lies are disgusting especially the cancer one - its sickening he's going to those measures. If anything, he needs help himself!

I'm not good with advice but I feel you, and I hear you.

I've just been through similar to you, for 2 years from 15 to now 17. & I never thought I'd get out of any of it. I loved him far to much to realized what harm he's done to me, it kills inside now that I see clearly. But believe me when I say; you are strong! You can get a move on with life and leave him behind! You can do it!

It's only week 3? Since I've ended my ex, (I was distant for a month, seeking interest in another guy) and the thing is: He destroyed my friendships, my closest relationship with my special best friend - I love my girl to utter bits, and he almost dragged that away completely for wanting me to himself. But I got lucky, she was willing to understand! She held on even though she hated me with him; and I spoke to her, spent some days with her, and same with my other best friend he tried taking of 13yrs, I chilled with her - and I realized in those moments; it's them I need - not him. & They've pulled me along, its still early days, and I can't deny how empty and sad I have been, but it's a relief, I can re-build everything and I have people who care about me and love me, and respect me. I chose my friends when he made me decide; you will ALWAYS need your friends and I think you should arrange a sleep over with yours and literally talk all of this out to them; even his ex like you have done, you two seem pretty close, and she'll understand you more because she faced him to!

You can find someone who will appreciate you. I've met a guy, and it's all early and fresh but he's seen some of the worse sides already, listened, my ex exposed pictures of me to him, and he's stuck by me still. I thought i'd never meet anyone ever again, but I have, and I'm happy about that, and it's just the case of getting through in steps that you can bare. Its totally your decision if you end him or not, and I know coming to terms and facing that you are in an abusive relationship can be alarming, and a shock, it still hasn't hit me yet, but you can reach out for help and get yourself some support. Its just finding your feet and gaining the security to face all of these things.

If you ever wanna message you can? I know I'm rubbish with advice, but I took 2yrs of similar to what you've described, and sometimes having a connection can really help to know your not alone and just help you to feel stronger about situations.

Please stay safe! <3 xx