[Sophrosyne]

Hey!

Asking for help from self harming is a big step so I am extremely proud of you for taking that step. Reaching out is very important and even though not everyone will understand it is still important. So thank you. I hope we help a bit in the process.

Firstly, I would recommend taking a look at the self harm alternatives thread that Nala linked. It has some alternatives including ones that give you the same sensation as cutting would although they are a lot better for you, and do not leave scars or marks for long periods of time. I hope the list helps.

I have come to understand that when you have people supporting you to stop, it helps with the process. I found that even posting in the self harm free thread, it helped me go long times without self harm as it made me feel prouder of myself when I could visually see how well I was doing, and I had the support of others to help encourage me to keep going. So even that might be a good idea. You could also talk to school counsellors, chaplains, nurses, teachers although they will have to tell your parents if what you say concerns them, friends or family. These are just a few people. You could even tell just any trusted adult if you don't feel comfortable telling your parents. As I said before, not everyone will understand why you are doing it, or even what they should do to help. Some people will ignore the problem and just pretend nothing is wrong, others will have a negative reaction and freak as they don't know what to do in the situation. BUT, not everyone is like that so don't be discouraged. There are many people who help a lot and support you, having a positive reaction to the situation. Just as long as you trust the person you tell, then I'm sure it will all go well. You don't have to tell someone though, but it is recommended.

As Nala said, even though self harming is a negative coping skill, it is still a coping skill. It works for people but it has a negative side effect. Finding some positive coping skills instead will help to get rid of the urges, as long as you find one that works for you. Not every coping strategy works for everyone, so find a suitable one. Also, knowing what triggers you and figuring out why you started in the first place will be good for finding a strategy that works.

Self harm generally does become worse the longer you do it, so finding an alternative is important. Self harm releases endorphins, that's why it helps. It gives the same feeling as exercise does for some. It becomes addictive so it does get hard to break the habit of it.

Setting goals would help, just take it a day at a time instead of one big step. Doing Ellie's idea might help, it seems like a good idea. Also giving yourself rewards when you make certain periods of time might help as well.