[Coffee.]

I wish I could remove every apology you ever gave me. Ever excuse.
Internalization is easier than exterior excuses that just say I'm meaningless to you.
I'd rather have meant something negative than meant nothing at all, and I know that's bad. But it's really shitty when to me you're a ghost in my life and left a significant mark and your disappearance has significantly harmed me, while for you, you just forgot to reply.
It's controlling, and it makes me a shitty person but I love knowing that A still tries to contact me and wants me to forgive her, but I'm in control, and that she'll always get to miss me.
You forgot me. I always wanted to believe that I mattered, but no matter what you say, you and I both know you're lying.
I want to believe it's that I care about you, but maybe I'm just a shitty individual. I don't know.
I know I'm shitty.