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Re: Do I have an eating disorder? -
December 23rd 2015, 04:21 AM
Hey there. 
I'm sorry that you're having a hard time with eating issues and your self-image. A negative self-image can certainly be upsetting enough to drive a person to unhealthy behaviors which is why it is positive and brave that you recognize this may be an issue, and are reaching out about it. I'm happy you reached out here because it's a big step.
Only eating one meal in a day is quite unhealthy for your body because you need more food than that. Vitamins, nutrients and proteins all nourish your body in all sorts of ways, and helps you maintain energy along with a more stable mood. Think of eating as taking care of yourself and being kind to your body because eating is a basic way of doing just that. Your body allows you to do all sorts of things including, well, mobility.  It gives you energy and it has the ability to fight off most things like potential colds and other illnesses which is why it needs food to help it do what it does best.
As you know, none of us can tell you whether or not you have an eating disorder but I will say that your habits are concerning and lean towards eating disordered behaviors. Which is why I'd certainly say that this is worth talking about with your doctor and perhaps seeking therapy if you find it too difficult to get into healthy habits of eating enough meals. Seeing a dietitian could be a good idea in this case to form a meal plan. In the meantime, is there anyone you can talk to in your personal life for support? As Mark mentioned, it may be a good idea to talk to your parents about this.
Would it help to slowly fit proper meals into each day? You can start by eating something light around meal times where you don't usually eat. Such as a light salad and fruits. Then you could begin including other foods and having a variety during each week. Eating enough and finding a healthy balance is important. Lack of food can actually slower your metabolism as well. Is it possible to fit exercise into your schedule? You mention how one of the reasons that you don't eat is because you'd like a better figure. The thing about exercise is that it has many health benefits and it can improve your overall mood, just like the right amount of healthy foods do. Eating enough food and exercising when you can will help you be healthier and hopefully happier.
Eating in front of other people can cause you to be quite a bit anxious, and since you are likely around others often it can get in the way of a lot of important meals. Do you think you can work on tackling your issue with eating around others? Slowly easing out of your comfort zone by eating with one person whom you're close to and are comfortable with would be a good start. Then you can move on to eating around a few family members, then public places that aren't very crowded. Focusing on other aspects during a meal may ease some of your anxiety due to redirecting your thoughts. Focusing on a bracelet you are wearing, or the taste of the food for example.
Lastly, I just want to remind you that your physical self doesn't determine your actual beauty. Wanting to lose weight is okay and good, but as long as you do it healthy while being kind to yourself, you know? The beauty that matters is within. I bet you have a lot of wonderful personality qualities and those around you who appreciate you, for you, are the ones that see the real you; the real beauty. What matters is what's within, not what's on the outside.
Hope this helped somewhat. Stay strong, stay safe and be kind to yourself. Let me know if you need someone to talk to. 
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