Hello Ray!
There's nothing to be ashamed about... In fact its good to rant out your problems here and let us help you.. it's courageous of you and you deserve a pat on the back!
I think that when it comes down to it, BDD is something that is in the mind, and they way to overcome it is to remember that you're better looking than you think you are, and that anyone who says otherwise is merely trying to hurt you or make themselves feel better. I get the feeling that you're a perfectly beautiful young woman, and there's nothing to feel jealous, angry or sad about when it comes to your appearance.
You're awesome, sweet and pretty enough as it is and nothing can change that fact.
I think that what matters most is not trying to be like others, but learning to appreciate how you are, your every strength, your very self and your confidence. Once you learn to do that, things will get better as you'll have no reason to doubt yourself any more, since you'll be happy with who you are.
I think you shouldn't blame yourself in regards to your LDR. If he feels this way, then the problem is probably with him. He's just using drugs, being emotional and not being understanding. If he's nicer, he would understand what you're going through and he'll help you out through it all. There's no reason to blame yourself because plenty of relationships can end like this. It might be that he's just playing games with you.. (He might be one of those stereotypical, playboy bad boy types ) and none of this is your fault . It's probably his loss because he doesn't get to be with you, and you seem to be someone who's appreciative and nice.. despite all you're going through .. you still make the effort to thank people for their help and you're probably someone who'll offer to help others in return.
I'm thinking that you could get to know some of those 14 other students and some of them might turn out to be really good friends . Some of them may be the feeling the same way you are, which is " I wish that this class was more fun " which will allow you to socialize and have some fun. Most of all, school is what you make of it.. if you learn to enjoy yourself and make things work, then you'll be able to make your weekdays a blast. There's no reason to not have fun during weekdays , because you'll be motivated.. and be looking forward to every hour of the day.
There's so many reasons to live, and you're just about to truly start enjoying what the world has to offer.
I want you to stay safe, because you deserve so much more than to feel like this, than to feel like you've nothing going for you. But there's so many positive changes you can make for yourself.
If you start believing... and remember that there's better things to do than thinking negatively, you'll be able to beat this situation.
Feel free to rant out your feelings to us and me.
I'll always be around if you need a friend or just someone to rant to!