[hocus pocus]

I am really sorry to hear about this. I know hospice is difficult, because watching someone you love slowly die is an emotionally draining process.

Limited visits must be hard and I'm sure you wish you could visit more. Just remember that you're doing all you can and I'm sure your girlfriend's mom appreciates your kindness, even if she is too ill to express it right now.

Your sadness is completely understandable. I think it's important for you to let yourself feel what you're feeling, and get it out of your system. Try not to keep it inside. You've lost a lot of people recently and that feeling of not being able to breathe between losing someone must be intense. I do hope that things eventually begin to cool down for you and your girlfriend so you can both begin to heal from this.

It can be really hard in between sessions sometimes. Are you allowed to contact your counselor out of session? Some counselors allow that, and if you're able to, I think you should take advantage of it. You might be able to call the office and see if you can get put on the cancellation list so you can get an early appointment if someone cancels. In the meantime, it might help to type things out as though you're writing to your counselor.

I agree with you in that the friendship stuff your girlfriend is going through is also bad timing. I'm glad you know the end of that friendship is not your fault, despite not always feeling that way. It might help to keep reminding yourself of that to kind of drill it in your head.

I hope you and your girlfriend are hanging in there.