My parents hurt me. Not physically (most of the time) but mentally and emotionally. There are certain events in my life that I could understand that would lead them to not trust me, but know that these events all happened so many years ago! I don't know if they thInk I'm secretly evil or something, but they seem like they absolutely resent me for some odd reason. Of course they don't openly express this feeling, they do do things that lead me to think this. They will yell at me for the most petty things, and I do have a past of being hit by them (slapping me, pushing/throwing me against a wall, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me, pushing me down, etc.). They will yell at me for doing something wrong and even sometimes when I do nothing wrong and they simply just feel like yelling at me. They also yell at me when I try to settle fights between my little sisters (I have two). They fight often and the older one often hits the younger one. The younger one never fights back but does stand up for herself sometimes and yells back. The older one hits the younger one all the time (kicking and punching). Know that the younger one has been in the hospital many times from either breathing problems or serious injuries. The younger one comes crying to me that the older one hit her all the time. I cheer her up and tell her to stay away from the older one if she hurts her so much, but she always ends up going back to her anyway. She looks up to the older one for unknown reasons, and forgives her constantly for all the things she does to her. I try to help them settle their differences and get the younger one to understand that none of this is any good for her. And to the older one that she is being a selfish jerk and not thinking about the younger one's feelings at all. Then my parents yell at me and send me to my room for reasons I do not understand. They don't know what I'm doing in their room or what I'm doing talking to the since they never listen or let me explain myself. I don't know what their deal is. They don't pay attention to the fact that my youngest sister is being physically abused by my other sister, but they do pay attention that I'm in someone elses room talking to them. My parents often insult me and my mother says things about me (not good things) to her friends and her side of the family. Because she says these things, a lot of the family frowns apon me. I hate it. I used to cut myself and I did this for a few months until I stopped, but even now I still get the feeling to cut myself all the time. I also have had suicidal thoughts for as long as I can remember, and I still do.
Sorry this post was so long...
Please if anyone could get back to this post with helpful advice on my situation
I would be eternally grateful, thank you.
