[Coffee.]

Hey Justin,

This is going to be long so bear with me but I want to make sure I cover a lot.

Are you seeing a psychologist/counselor/other mental health professional about your eating disorder? The way that you've framed your recovery, I think you are focused way too much on the physical recovery. Recovery is complex. First, there is the physiological, but there is also behavioral (are you still engaging in disordered eating behaviors), social (is this harming your socializing and social function), cognitive (are you still having ED thoughts) and overall body image and esteem. As of last week, you seem to have reached a phys state that is perceived as healthy by a doctor (which is amazing!) but you are still engaging in behaviors, are still having thoughts, and this is still highly impacting your life. I think you need to see a psychologist so that you can truly address the issues that you are facing.

Next, you need to get a treatment team that is aimed at disordered eating. Your doctor seems to be very focused on numbers, such as rigid weight requirements, calorie counting, etc. Generally, this is not recommended for eating disorders. A dietitian who specializes in disordered eating can give you a better meal plan that helps you learn how to listen to your body for hunger cues and learn how to eat like a healthy person again instead of being bogged down by calories. On that note, your binge episodes seem to be related to your hunger. Instead of binging, make sure you're eating enough throughout the day so that you don't feel the need to binge.

Last, get rid of your scale. Really. Do it. It's okay if you gain weight, and weight fluctuation is normal specifically when you are refeeding. By frequently weighing yourself, you're psyching yourself out and not letting yourself emotionally recover. Also, I doubt any body aches you are having are related to the weight gain. It's okay, you're okay.

Stay strong, we're all cheering you on! I know you want so much to recover, so I would really encourage you to get a care team aimed at your best interest!

Best,
Traci