[Kate*]

I really hope this is either allergies or a cold and not the flu. Either way, I'd love to be able to breathe.

The truth is that I will never really know how much of it was actually my fault. I know that some of it definitely was. But, I also know that I was forced to take responsibility for a lot of stuff that wasn't. Maybe they put everything on students so they can get away with everything they do and say that they know is wrong. Maybe my reputation isn't shot and/or they just couldn't take being confronted. Or, maybe they just lied. Even if it can't happen, I'd be okay with knowing that what I went through was worth it, that they learned something, or changed something. But, I know the reality is that they didn't and won't because as long as they can blame their crap on other people while being total hypocrites, and ethically get rid of people because of that, they don't have to.

Thank you for once again reminding me that there are people with my condition who do all the jobs I've wanted to do my whole life that got taken away because of it. That TOTALLY helps.

"So, your goal is to work at (retail establishment) full time?" No, the last time you were here I was going after my goal. Then I broke and my life collapsed; now my goal is to keep breathing while I'm confronted with the reality that I'd probably be better off not.

I'm finally starting to feel a change, but I know it won't stick. I can enjoy it while it's here anyway.