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Re: "My Bullied Son's Last Day on Earth" - April 26th 2009, 07:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by CanadaCraig View Post
Hi Everyone!!

I hope you're OK.

The sad thing is.... I have been listening to ALL of the exact same arguments SINCE the mid 1970's. The bottom line of [almost] all of your ideas [Including yours Jack] can be summed up in two words.

DO NOTHING!!

And when it comes to what YOU said YourNightMare - the person that matters the LEAST [to you] is the VICTIM. You have great compassion for the ADULTS and for the bully. And you certainly don't want to inconvenience the police. Oh no. We don't want to burden public servants with the responsibility of serving the public. But nothing you said would suggest to me that you have ANY compassion for the victim. In fact - it would seem [to me - at least] that you could care less about the victim. And you try to defend that position by letting it be known just how 'logical' you are. Sadly - you're not alone. It's because the world is full of people who think like you - victims will ALWAYS be last on the list of who 'we' should take care of.

As for the argument that 'bullies are victims too' - I agree. But so what? They can be helped AFTER they have been arrested and/or charged and/or held accountable - legally - in some way. Besides - haven't most criminals been victims of one thing or another?!

I think it's time we redirected our compassion. And instead of always running to the defense of those causing so much harm - we need to focus more on those who are BEING harmed. I know that's a scary thought. In fact - it's human to want to distance ourselves from victims. Victims are targets. And few of us want to be THAT close to any target because we fear that if we get too close - we might become a target too. But we have to fight that fear and do what's RIGHT. And the right thing to do is to side WITH the victim. This may come as a shock to some of you - but the abusers of the world are NOT more important than the victims of their abuse.

GREAT BIG HUG
Craig!!
Craig, I've noticed this in some arguments of yours in other threads. It seems that each time someone disagrees with you, you're response typically is "But you say DO NOTHING!!! ARGGGGG".

What I may say may be insensitive to the victims, however, there's another difference I've noticed over and over with debates you're in or that you make, and this includes this one: you fail to note the practicality. Yes, it'd be all wonderful if we could get the police involved each time, blah blah blah, however, you fail to think what effect that will have on society (or if you think it, you certainly don't post it).

With debates involving possible changes to laws and society, you need to see how practical it is. You cant only view how much the victims benefit and bullies get punished (and may benefit from it) yet ignore parents, adults, police, etc... . You see how each party can get affected, then you see whether the costs outweigh the benefits.

Yes, we'd certainly over-burden the police, have hundreds of thousands of parents, teachers and students going to the police to deal with a bully meanwhile, also inforce the law to criminals of other sorts. You'd most likely need a completely separate division only for this, a rather large division.

You put the victims first, that's fine, no problem there. But, you put everyone else last, not caring about them.

Ideally, we help the victims and the bullies all while making sure society doesn't crumble. To help the victims, yet again, how? Whose to do it? The mental health care system, at least in Canada, is not the best. It certainly cannot handle a large wave of students who were bullied needing help of some sort. We'd probably need a whole separate division for this, presumably to work with the separate police division for bullying. But, of course, all of this you've failed to address. You've looked at it from a very subjective, biased, theoretical view, whereas I've been more objective, less biased and a practical view. This biased view is shown quite simply by you:

Quote:
abusers of the world are NOT more important than the victims of their abuse.
Essentially, put the victims first, be emotional, forget how practical it may be, and don't care about the adults and society. It's a scary thought, I know, but think and post rationally and at least put in some practical views. Society is practical-oriented, not theoretical-oriented.