[Astar]

A couple of years ago I had bad anxiety- panic attacks daily, constantly questioning if people like me, hating myself, doubting myself.. often scared about little things.
Anyway I clearer up quite a bit.. I had counselling (which didn't really help) and just got myself feeling better.. idk how..
Cut to now.
The anxiety is coming back.. I'm permanently second guessing what people are saying, never believing they like me, I try to be friendly and nice to people but I just want to hide away. I feel guilty that I've hurt someone else all the time. I doubt myself again.. talk myself out of everything to nearly the point of not going out.. although so far I've forced myself to go.. although often on the way there I'm composing myself after having a panic attack. It's getting worse and I ant find an escape. I have friends, I am in a good class where I talk to people, I go to a great drama group who I'm good friends with lots of people, I've got a nice family, I've got hobbies, I'm on top of coursework. Yet none of it matters. Just today when I met some people in town late, I was convinced they were bitching about me before I came. I nearly didn't go.. I was sure they hate me. Same at college, even with my best friends. There's better people for all of them. Not me.