[del677]

Thank you for reaching out.

I understand because I've been there.

Other people don't understand if they've had no experience with it. They try and make sense of it, and they may come up with absurd explanations, like your "just" being dramatic and "just" seeking attention. Not very helpful I know.

Sister and parents should be told it's a medical condition (which I know doesn't make sense at first, but I've been there myself, and I came out the other side, and I looked back and said, "You mean all this time it was just a medical condition?" It only makes sense afterwards.

I'm glad your parents are at least worried about you. You can help them by telling them what helps you, and what doesn't help you, and what they can do to help, and if anything they are doing is unhelpful, you can give them feedback on that too.

When you're in the worst of it as you are now, there's a very slim but real chance you could die, which is very scary for other people. A death like this can tear a family apart and destroy them with grief. You may think they don't care, but they do. When a child tragically dies, the whole family can be torn with grief for years.

The good news is once you find the right medication you'll know it and you'll slowly start feeling better and better and over time you'll eventually be cured and able to live a normal pain free life.

The first medication you try might not work. Give your doctor feedback, and keep trying different medications until you find the one that works for you.

If the medication has a bad side effect, or makes you feel worse, tell your doctor so he can switch you to a different medication.

(I've tried just about all of them. Sometimes I'd try one and I'd know within a few days that this med is a disaster for me. One med was like drinking 20 cups of coffee. another med knocked me out so I just slept all the time and couldn't get up. Those ones I just stopped taking after a few days and called my doctor.

Other meds I'd try for 6 weeks and didn't feel any better. We just kept on trying different meds until I found the right one. That was quite a major turning point for me, and after a year of being on the med that works for me I'm fine now.

So there's real hope that you won't have to suffer like this your whole life.

Hang in there!

Keep writing here and let us know how you are doing.

Best wishes!