[Silvan]

Originally Posted by Cassado

One thing you said was that you can cry because of school or cry because of other things, such as the carefree days you long for. Something to think about is that although crying can sometimes be uncomfortable and tiring it is a good outlet to release your feelings and you may feel a little bit better afterwards. If you feel like crying, and you are comfortable enough in your environment to do so, give it a try.
You mentioned problems with studying. Do you mind sharing those with us? We might be able to give you tips and techniques that can help you out. Do you know what kind of learner you are? Some people like to listen, while others learn by watching, and some learn by hands on activity related to the material. If you know what way you like to learn you can look for study techniques based on that.
If you're having trouble with the material you are learning, don't hesitate to ask for help. If you don't want to ask during class, you could ask before class. Some teachers let students come in for help before and after school, or during lunch. Asking for help can be difficult but that is what your teachers are there for.

What is it like for you to interact with people? Is there a part of it that you struggle with the most? Maybe you can share more with us if you feel comfortable doing that so we can get more information on how you're struggling.

It sounds like you have done a lot of things to keep your mind busy so you do not think about school. Even though these things are not working, keep trying them or try new things. Hopefully they'll work eventually or you'll find a go-to distraction over time.

Dear Cassado,
thank you for your reply. I also believe that crying is helpful, but probably not so excessively.
My problem with studying is very strange. I'm very good at languages, to the point that I have won many competitions etc. But that's basically it. I'm not really good at anything else. Well, I like Polish (my native language) and History, but I don't excel at them. Then there are Chemistry, Physics and Biology and I have completely given up on them because I can't understand anything. I won't have to study those (except for Biology) from next year but I'll always have to study Maths. There are some branches of Maths I'm good at but there are some I can't get, no matter how try I hard.
What often happens during lessons is that the teacher asks something everybody makes up their answers, but I can't for some reason. Nothing comes to my mind. And if I have to solve something on Maths, I stare at a task for a long moment before I can start slowly solving it, while everybody else solves it in a flash. Also I can't even think of an interpretation or analysis of a poem on Polish, a subject I used to think I was not very bad at. I don't know why it takes me so long to do everything while the rest can do it way quicker. I often feel really dumb at school.

I don't know how to describe my interactions with people. When I sit in a group, I'd much rather take out a book and read. If I can't I simply listen to them, but I never talk unless someone asks me something. First I don't feel the need to talk to them, second I never even know what to say. I never say anything on lessons too, that's why teachers always think I'm not paying attention or that I'm doing something else. And if I'm supposed to say something out loud I get very stressed and I forget everything even if I'm prepared way better than enough.