[Silvan]

Dear Keagan,
sometimes you might feel down for days. Sometimes you might be alright and suddenly, out of nowhere, unpleasant feelings or thoughts appear. However, just as Princess Leia once said, "hope is like the sun. If you only believe in it when you can see it, you'll never make it through the night.” I consider these words very motivational.
If you feel as if you're pushing people away, those who love you and believe in you will understand, even if it takes some time. You'd be surprised at how many people care about you... and whenever you feel like all else in real life fails, there are lots of kind-hearted souls here on TeenHelp always ready to listen.
As far as some practical advice is concerned, try to relax before going to sleep and you might find it a little easier to fall asleep. Being well-rested will also help you to feel better. Most popular relaxing tips involve dimming the lights and turning off electronical devices around half an hour before going to bed, taking a hot bath, reading a book, lighting scented candles and playing calming music. You can find tons of relaxing/calming/sleeping music on YT. I would also recommend trying to focus on something you like instead of overthinking, which probably results in your staring into the ceiling for hours. For example, I'm keen on astronomy, so sometimes when I'm really anxious I imagine the Solar System. I list the names of planets and moons, their characteristics etc. It's important that I imagine it as a calm, peaceful journey through the Universe, not as if I were in a hurry. Maybe you could find such a topic for yourself, something that you like and could think of when falling asleep?
I hope this helped a bit. Remember it's going to be alright soon and don't hesitate to reach out again.

Sue