[Storyteller.]

Originally Posted by Green Yoshi

Basically.. someone like her has to return.

If you pin all your hopes of happiness on a single relationship, you will never truly be happy.

It's great to have friends, and best friends, and partners, and people we love in our lives. But happiness has to come from within, or it's bound to be unstable. If you feel like the only way to be happy is to have a best friend you spend all your time with, then you're setting yourself up for disappointment because there will always be elements that you can't control. If that person leaves, or you have a fight, or you drift away, you will be left miserable and without a coping mechanism - namely, the company of the very person who's causing you all this pain to begin with (albeit probably unintentionally). You need to find ways to be happy on your own, and to feel so secure in yourself that you don't need to rely on another person in order to feel content. Because once you have that own sense of self, that resilience and emotional maturity, you'll know that you're interacting with other people because you want to, because you genuinely like them and want to spend time with them, rather than because you feel dependent on them or because you're just scared of being alone. Do you get what I'm saying?

As for being in pain - if you've been in such severe pain for so long, you need to do something about it. It's all well and good for you to post here, but it's clear by your threads that you need more support than we're able to provide. I really think you should look into seeing a professional, if you don't already. And if you're going to keep posting threads here (which of course you're more than welcome to do), I think it would be helpful for you to actually say what kind of support you're looking for. Do you just want to talk about your feelings, without any expectation of realistic advice? Do you want some kind words and gentle encouragement? Or do you want practical suggestions? The more specific you are, the more we'll be able to help.