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Edit avatar · **Re: College is too much... -** March 19th 2018, 08:19 PM

I am glad you ranted. I don't have a ton of advice to offer but I hope that ranting helped.

Something to consider is that some of these things might be exacerbated by the fact that you are so close to being done and you just ... want to be done but have to drag through the semester. My boyfriend has struggled a lot through trying to get his Degree in Computer Information Technology. He is in his last semester and he seems to be struggling a lot more. I know some of it is directly correlated to his mental health issues and lack of sleep but he's admitted that some of it is directly related to being so close to being done but ... also having so much longer because he has pushed himself so hard and he needs a break. I know he has spring break next week and breaks usually help him get refreshed. So, do you think Spring Break might help you as well? I know it won't fix it cause it's likely the best thing to 'fix' this will be getting done with school but sometimes a break can help to a degree but I am not sure when/if you will get a break?

I am not sure if it will help but when I was in my last semester of getting my AA ... it took me years because of my own struggles with disabilities...I would try and reward myself for every week I went to school because for me...attendance was difficult because I knew I didn't need to attend to pass but a lot of the teachers had attendance 'rules'. I also know that once I stopped attending even if I could pass I would end up skipping important days due to depression. So, the reward system kind of helped keep me going a bit. The rewards would be really simple such as a night out with friends or a coffee (starbucks or one of the the better local places). I know that might not help you and most semesters that didn't work for me but it did that last semester for some reason so I thought I'd mention it.

As for your issues with the class and financial aid, my boyfriend has had to balance that and is currently doing so but more in regards to the GI Bill. He has had to take a full course load and summer classes for the past 2 years or so because he lives off the GI Bill. It isn't ideal but he cannot work and go to school and school is more important for his long term success. It has been a constant battle and I know it adds more stress especially if you are actually struggling in a class and have to consider dropping it. My only real suggestion is to try and talk to the teacher and see if there might be a way to turn it around. There are some teachers who are amazing when they find out a student is struggling with an illness (you wouldn't have to specify) and that it is making the semester complicated. A lot of teachers will work with the student to try and help them succeed because they care. Maybe this professor is one of the good ones who might be willing to talk with you and help you figure out what the best course of action would be and if there is a way to turn it around?

I am glad you were able to vent because I understand that all this stuff is leading to more and more stress. You have school which is stressful, plus you have your disabilities, financial stress and you mentioned feeling like you have to take others weight. That is so much and you should be proud of yourself for trying to work through it. I know it's not easy and I know I can't really offer any advice that will be super helpful because the issue is so complex.

One thing, you mention that you feel you have to take on others weight. I don't know what you mean by that but I have started to learn that having people who depend on me has led to me feeling like I have to take on their issues and their weight. I have never had people depend on me until I started a relationship with my boyfriend and so it's been a new and complex thing because I am usually able to disengage when a person's life/weight gets to be too much. I haven't been able to do that with my boyfriend and am hoping to work on it in therapy. My dad has dealt with people depending on him for year (37+) and he has been working on that in therapy and I have noticed a change. He still takes on too many peoples issues/weight but he has been able to step back a bit. I am not sure if that is what you meant when you said you were taking on others weight but it might be something you can address in counseling?

You mentioned you are seeing a school counselor once every three weeks and I am wondering if you could increase the times you see her? I know colleges have different rules pertaining to counseling. My city college only allows 8 sessions and then they refer out. However, I know the state college had a better program. That being said, increasing how often you see the counselor (if possible) might help as well simply because you'd have a place to vent?

I know my advice is probably stuff you've considered and I hope that nothing I said came across as invalidating because that wasn't my intention. The advice is mostly just stuff that popped into my mind.

Lastly, I guess I'll just add that you are an amazing person. I've seen you around off and on and I've always thought you were pretty cool. I know we have never really interacted but if you need a safe place to vent my pm box is open. If you just want to vent but you don't want a response you can say so. I know sometimes I need to vent about things but don't want to post on the site so I PM a friend. If you need something like that you can do so with me or maybe find another person to try it with?

Best regards and please keep hanging in there. I hope that you are able to figure all this out.