I would say that falls under the umbrella of sexual assault. First of all, you were under the influence, which automatically effects consent. Secondly, you keep telling him to stop or slow down. The thing about physical intimacy is that you can rescind your consent at any time. If you say "stop" or "no" and someone keeps going that's sexually assault.

I'm very sorry this happened to you. No one should have to experience what you did. Your way of coping isn't weird or abnormal; everyone copes differently. For some people they move on just fine and then it hits them years later. That happened to a very good friend of mine, actually, so you're not alone. However you need to process it is okay.

The healing process isn't always easy but it does happen with some work. It sounds like your town is so small that you may not have access to a therapist, but there are always people here to talk to. I've also seen some things about doing online therapy or therapy through apps so you may want to look into that. If you aren't interested in therapy (which is perfectly understandable) you can always talk to people here. We're a supportive community and we're here.

Please message me if you want to talk. My inbox is always open.